Today, I was very tired. It was warm and sunny. I didn’t go to the beach with the others when they left in the afternoon. I was lying in bed and got this Ayas-last-year-feeling, this time with L. I hadn’t read the whole book, but something had stayed with me nonetheless. I took action against it, too. During that, I was feeling an incredible pressure, like a strong itch. But the culmination was only a shallow wave, very disappointing. Then I slept for a short time. In the evening we went to Mezzaluna for supper.
Today, it was hot again. This time I got up earlier. After breakfast Sina and I went to the beach. There were large waves, and we dived into the most beautiful ones. That was great fun. Then after lunch I lay down again. This feeling came up again, and again I did something against it (this time it was similar to yesterday) and took a short nap.
For dinner there was fish barbecue. Papa had once again bought much too much after promising the opposite. GRRR. It seems like an addiction to me. As if he got into a shopping frenzy where he had to buy ever beautiful feeling from the past and every hope for the future in the form of an object. I don’t know what I can do against it. What I can do for him.
I was reading a lot in my ballet books and got a strong desire to dance. But because I don’t want to get dirty I’m postponing it to tomorrow.