Sisters! A Rant.

I am furious right now. My little sister, Sissy, is the most hateful, rude and humourless bitch person I ever met. I had such a lovely evening, a cosy chat in the kitchen with my mother, a little harp practice session, some tv-watching in the dusk. I was looking forward to the first family meal since last Sunday’s breakfast. But she had to go and be horribly rude to me because I said something (and I am absolutely certain Dinah got that it was meant as a humorous reference, although she denied it later and took Sissy’s part as always), and threaten to throw her food into my face (!) if I mentioned it again. She is 22, by the way, and, apparently, intelligent. This set off Dad, who began to scream at the top of his voice, like a mindless ape, that we should be quiet (how ironic!). I was so ashamedof him. And angry with Sissy. She has been rude to me for weeks, but especially tonight. Everything I say or do sets her off, and her reactions are totally disproportionate to any (perceived) annoyances or insults.I am not without faults, but this is going too far. I REFUSE to be spoken to like that. I walked away and stopped my ears with music in my room. In between songs I heard them arguing in the kitchen. Dad is still behaving like a petulant child, banging things apparently because I told him there was no need to scream like a mindless ape (it is true!).

Really, I had NO intention of offending or criticizing Sissy. I made a humorous comment about her old, faded and tattered polar fleece jacket, which I had been objecting to for years. Last winter, I had been serious. I thought it was not fit to be worn anymore. But not this time. If I search my feelings, I was really just joking. I know by now that I will never be able to make Sissy change her mind about something if I criticize or scold her.

I don’t know what is the matter with her. But it doesn’t matter whether she is afraid of something, in love, stressed or sad, as long as she doesn’t tell us that something is wrong, she has no right to behave like that. If she came and told me she was having a difficult time and that was the reason for her short temper, I would make allowances. But I feel like she has been like this for the past two to three years. And lately, it has got really bad. When I ask her, she says everything is all right.

I just thought of something: What if it is my weight loss? She has been putting on quite a bit of weight over the last years, and I have been losing weight since the spring. Maybe she is jealous. Dinah sometimes appears to be jealous, too. She is thin though, but her face is plain and she has very low self-esteem… Hmmm. I need to think about that.

I would rather become thin and have my sisters be mean to me than the other way around. I am working and making my own money. I am dancing a lot. I am taking an interest in my appearance. I am getting more confident and grown-up. I am thinking, and singing and enjoying life. They might resent that, but I won’t tone myself down to make them comfortable. At last, I am learning to be who I really am. And adding to who I am. I will not be stopped.

From now on, I will watch my every word to my sisters. I’ll make it a game. I’ll show off a little, but make it appear to be completely unconscious. It’ll be fun. Let’s see what will happen tomorrow.


About annalienor

Lover of beauty, adult ballet student, deliberate creator wannabe.
This entry was posted in Abundance, Ballet, Family, Health, Music, My Room. Bookmark the permalink.

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