I have always wanted to lose weight, but have never managed it until last year. I don’t know why exactly it is working now, but I am glad it is. For the last nine years, ever since I left school at my all time highest weight of 142.5kg (314 lb.), I have never managed to weigh less than 130 kg (287 lb.). Mostly, I was in the 135-132 range.
In the autum of 2011, I gained up to 138 kg (304lb.). I count this as my official starting weight. Without really trying to ‘lose weight’, I made it to 131 last summer, just by following my bliss, which meant doing more of what I love (ballet) and eating things that truly made me feel good. I was so happy that I had lost a little. I wanted more. Then, on 1 August, at the picnic table in ‘my spot’ by the lake, I thought I might try counting calories. It had never worked before, because I used to feel deprived and controlled. But this time, something was different. I downloaded a counting app and started logging my lunch. And that is how it really began. In October, I joined Weight Watchers for additional support. I went from eating 3000 calories a day and feeling restricted to eating 1500 and feeling mostly satisfied. I went from two to four ballet classes a week to six. Today, I weigh 91.6 kg (202 lb.). I have no doubt now that I can achieve a normal BMI in time. That would be at 68 kg (150 lb.). Half my starting weight.
Because I didn’t start my weight loss expecting to succeed, I have no real ‘before’ pictures or measurements. The first time I photographed my body was in Mid-November when suddenly my legs seemed to look a little thinner. My weight was 122 kg (269 lb.)
The first real set of pictures was taken in Mandy’s studio. I was there alone one night after class when I had the idea to start taking progress pictures. So I tucked in my shirt very tightly and bared my arm and did not suck in my stomach. You can’t see more than my silhouette. Looking at it now, I seem very fat, but at the time I thought I looked thinner than ever. Since then, I have taken the same pictures whenever I was alone in a studio, at random intervals. This is the result (so far):
I love the fact that I am in practice clothes and in a ballet studio for my progress pictures. After all, that’s what it really is about. Ballet is my greatest motivation and passion. Besides, the big mirrors are practical for taking pictures of myself. They aren’t very good, but at least my silhouette is visible.
In the last set from yesterday, you can see me in my my new top. I didn’t have time to bare my left arm or retake any pictures, because class was about to begin.
Seeing these photos side by side has made the change seem a little more real. I am actually happier about it than ever before. And proud. And I NEVER want to go back!
The best things about weight loss, apart from ballet, are feeling more normal and more feminine, no longer attracting stares, and knowing that my outside matches my inner self better than ever.
The next goal is ‘ONEderland’, weighing under 200 lb. Then no-longer-obese weight of 81 kg/178.5 lb, which means I can finally learn JUMPS in ballet! And then normal weight, which means: POINTE! After that, my plans are vague. I guess I’ll want to lose a little more, until I look harmonious in a mirror. We’ll see.