Sad Ramblings on Cats

Miss M wrote back a few days ago, saying I could come for a visit on Saturday. Some hours later, she wrote again: something has come up, I’ll contact you later. Then silence.

I was worried. Had something happened to Finn? Was she having second thoughts? Why didn’t she reply? Why did I suddenly feel weird looking at Finn’s picture, as if there was a shadow between us? Last night, I dreamed confusing dreams about cats: I had another cat, not Finn, but I kept thinking of him. This afternoon, she wrote back: Bad news. The previous owner wanted Finn back. He was going to take him away today and see whether he would be happy in his old home, and there was nothing Miss M could do.

I’m unhappy for myself, because I had already fallen in love with him. I’d already lived with him (in my imagination) and now I was ‘losing’ him. But maybe it’s the best for Finn, and then I’m happy for him. Miss M said that she would get back to me if things didn’t work out at his old/new home.

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I HAD felt a tiny twinge of doubt or not-complete-harmony or whatever you want to call it, every time I imagined life with Finn. Tiny, but it was there. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked. Who knows. I’m still sad, and wish I could have him.

I was feeling so sad (and having a cold and feeling a little depressed and lonely didn’t make it better) that I immediately started looking for other cats.

I found one, a three-year-old red-and-white male from my city, and made an appointment to meet him tomorrow. But somehow, my heart wasn’t in it. Strangely, I was most touched by an advertisement for a five-year-old black female. An indoor cat, very cuddly, to be sold immediately with all her things because the owner was pregnant. I didn’t want a dark-haired cat (everything is white in my flat), I wanted a male, a younger, outdoor cat. Everything is speaking against that cat, but I felt so drawn to it… I felt so much pity for her, even though there were old, maimed or sick cats who objectively deserve more pity. I can’t explain it. But I didn’t trust my instinct enough yet to contact the owner.

So now, I’m going to meet that red cat tomorrow and see how we like each other. No need to make rash decisions. There is still time until Christmas, after all. I think when I find the right cat, I’ll know.

Here he is. I don’t know his name. He was rescued from Spain two years ago.

He IS cute.

He IS cute.

About annalienor

Lover of beauty, adult ballet student, deliberate creator wannabe.
This entry was posted in Dreams, Law of Attraction, My Cat and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Sad Ramblings on Cats

  1. The Dancing Rider says:

    Oh, so sorry to hear that! Do meet the orange cat! ๐Ÿ™‚ He is very sweet looking. Make sure he is neutered, too. Or, of course, have him neutered. If you change your mind (about whatever cat you find) about having them indoors, they are much healthier, and live longer, for it. So happy you are going to look at Mr. Orange. I think it is positive to do so, rather than mulling things. HUGS! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • annalienor says:

      Thank you so much for your comment, it has brightened my evening!
      The red cat is neutered already. And he is used to be outdoors, though only in a garden for now. I know of the advantages indoor cats have. However, if I was a cat, I’d rather have a short but happy, exciting, free life than a long and boring one, and I think most cats would choose the same. It feels unnatural to keep cats indoors, and in my circumstances it would be cruel. My flat is small, I’m not often at home and I can’t afford to keep two cats, so there is no other option. That’s why I’m looking for a smart adult cat who has some experience. The owner of the red cat said he was very intelligent and confident…

      • The Dancing Rider says:

        Yes, I see from what you are saying that outdoors is best. And wise, given your schedule and circumstances! I so hope you get him!

  2. RO says:

    It is said that owners don’t choose their cats, cats choose their owner… you should really go with your gut-feeling in this one, and don’t rush into a relationship with a cat that doesn’t feel right. That will save you – and the cat – lots of heartache!!
    Good luck with the visits, I hope you’ll find a cute kitty cat to keep you company ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Atanua says:

    Have you tried going to a shelter and just see which cat approaches you? I remember when we (my family) bought one of our cats the breeder had like twenty cats in total and six kittens to sell. One was hiding somewhere in the house, the other five did not really seem to be interested and right when we decided to leave a black-and white cat with the most gorgeous copper eyes came down the stairs…sat on my lap and started purring like there was no tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚
    Oh and if you ever have a bigger apartment with a balcony, try to keep the cats inside. Not only often they get killed in road traffic but domestic cats are one major threat to many bird species. Trust me, I’ am a biologist ๐Ÿ˜›
    Good luck on being found by your dream kitty ;)!

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