Two Parts Of A Calm Sunday

Part One

It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting cozily in bed while Gina is stretched out across the chaise longue. She’s so pretty! A red tabby, but very lightly patterned, almost blonde. If only I could really stroke her. She sometimes lets me, but only in certain places and situations. She’s not at all a cuddly cat, unfortunately. I got her from an animal home and while she has made progress, she is still quite shy.

I’d first like to write a little about weight loss. Last week was successful in spite of the slip on Sunday: On Friday, my weight was FINALLY below the lowest weight I reached in October. I had been eating a little more this week, because I didn’t lose much on 1500/1600 calories. And I re-joined Weight Watchers. There is a new meeting on Thursday mornings. There was a new coach and assistant and new members, so nobody knew me. I didn’t like the meeting much. They mostly talked about cooking, which was boring because I don’t have time to cook during the week. ‘Normal’ people come home after work and have time to cook dinner. I have ballet class. My dinner has to be a snack before class that gives me energy but doesn’t make me feel heavy and a snack after class that helps me recover fast. I did some research about sports nutrition and have tried to apply what I learned.

Besides, the other Weight Watchers members often talk about events and eating at restaurants. It seems that the average woman has several restaurant meals or social events per week. That makes me feel like a weird, unsocial freak. Well, compared to them, I am. But it’s getting better! In the last few months, I went out with Melina once and met June three times. And I talk to people at work and ballet, so I’m not entirely unsocial. June even called me a friend once. Where I live, you don’t just call acquaintances friends. It really means something more. Poor June, though! She is still injured. She hasn’t been able to really dance since August. I can’t imagine how frustrating this must be. It always makes me appreciate the fact that I am healthy and strong and can train as much as I do. It also makes me determined to improve and work as hard as possible. It could all be over in an instant.

Yesterday, I had my weekly cheat meal and consciously enjoyed it. It’s something to look forward to all week and helps me not to feel deprived of all good things. I had homemade bread with butter, salami, chocolate and lemon biscuits while watching the races. It’s become a kind of tradition already. Today, I want to eat healthily again. From now on, for every kilo I lose, I will put 10 Euros into a ‘pointe shoe pot’. I have to lose 16 more kilos until my BMI is normal and I can start pointe. That should give me enough money for the first few pairs.

I don’t just have to lose weight but also improve my relevé and stability before I start pointe. I find it very hard to stay aligned in relevé on one foot. My foot wants to sickle slightly because I don’t have enough strength. I hope that it will become easier if I’m lighter. Ever since GFT told me that, I have been working on it. Belinda saw me jump for the first time yesterday and was extremely pleased, which made me happy. And I love seeing myself in the mirror, high up in the air (with feet actually pointed). It seems like a miracle! Things jiggle when I land, but I try to ignore it. Jumps from two legs are getting stronger and higher. Assemblés are still not happening, though. I won’t do more advanced jumps until I can push off properly in assemblés. After all, I’m still technically obese. If I don’t have good control, the added weight could do a lot of damage.

Pirouettes have been inconsistent and shaky for some time. I mostly get around once, sometimes more, but I can feel that I’m not aligned properly. There is a beautiful feeling of being centered on your leg when you are aligned, but I hardly ever am. It’s spotting and landing that throw me off most. I was in the studio early yesterday and worked on landing and actually improved a little. If I could spot properly, I could even try doubles. But I’m spotting too slowly and the coordination still eludes me. A double pirouette when properly aligned must feel absolutely wonderful! Oh, it all comes down once more to basic alignment. That’s the answer to almost every difficulty.

So, now I have to go make breakfast and prepare for class with GFT.

Part Two

It is almost six. The sun has come out and we had a glorious afternoon. Next week will be sunny and warm once more. Spring is here, daylight lasts longer and there are flowers everywhere. I love hearing the birds sing, especially the blackbirds, and the doves early in the morning. But what I love most is the twilight. The sky turns from blue to pale green or violet and then to dark blue with bright stars. There is a tranquility and hope in the air and I love sitting by the window with a candle burning and reading, dreaming or listening to music. At the moment, I have In A Time Lapse by Ludovico Einaudi playing almost every day, on the way to ballet or at home. I get cravings for it as if it was food, it’s so beautiful. It lifts up my soul and makes me think and act in the best and purest ways, enhancing everything that is beautiful in the world and in myself. This weekend, I have also listened to the complete songs and poems by the Tolkien Ensemble. And I read some more History of Middle-Earth. The Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth. It was very interesting, but what impressed me most was the touching story of Andreth and Aegnor.

This is one of my favourite pieces. If you are impatient: the nicest part starts at 2.40.

Class with GFT was hard and frustrating as usual. She pushes us relentlessly, demanding absolute concentration. Today, there were many fast and intricate combinations of tendus, jetés, petits développés and enveloppés with change of leg and port de bras. I eventually got the coordination, but moved the hips and shoulders too much and sometimes grabbed the barre quite hard. I KNOW I can do better, but it was just too fast and so I felt like a fool flailing around with arms and legs. She also gave us very hard things to do in centre: Grands battements on demi-pointe (errrm… mine were only around 45°) and grand rond de jambe en tournant finishing with a promenade (wobble wobble). Every cambré had to be pushed to the limit, hips pulled up, shoulder blades flattened. I work harder in her classes because she is more demanding. She wants me to hold my arms lower in second position so that I can make a nicer line with the elbows, saying it looks more elegant when it’s lower. I’m used to a higher position from Franca, so now I have to think about it all the time. But I agree with her that it looks better. I wish I had more classes with her, even though they are uncomfortable. She will always push and never be satisfied ‘because we are only adults’. Sometimes an advanced student comes to class and she pushes her, too, demanding more precision, quality, turnout, épaulement. You can always do more.

About annalienor

Lover of beauty, adult ballet student, deliberate creator wannabe.
This entry was posted in Ballet, Friends, Health, Moment, Music, My Cat and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Two Parts Of A Calm Sunday

  1. RO says:

    It’s so lovely to read that you are caring for your body to the best of your ability. You see your own ‘weaknesses’ and try to overcome these and make them your strenghts. I hope your weightloss will continue and you will keep feeling motivated and good. I hope that ‘pointe shoe’ pot fills up nice and you will be able to start doing pointe work!
    The music is gorgeous.. had to keep my tears at bay!!

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