So… I Hit My Head

Something strange and scary happened to me last week: A few hours before the planned date with the teacher on Sunday, I fainted and hit my head. I had slept long, got up and pottered about the flat for some time and then wanted to drink a glass of cold Pepsi. After the first large swallow, I had a very painful cramp in my stomach. This has happened before when I drank cold Pepsi first thing in the morning, but it had never hurt so much. I remember clutching the counter in the kitchen and thinking it would be over soon. The next thing I know, I was opening my eyes an seeing a fuzzy view of the underside of the kitchen table. I thought I was waking up in bed still half in a dream. No. Definitely my kitchen table. I was lying in my kitchen on the floor. Then I realised that I must have fainted. I knew who I was, what day it was, everything. I felt quite shaky from the shock of realisation, but got up and thought I was fine. Then I noticed a wet feeling on the back of my head and my hand came away bloody. I could not feel a large wound, but pressed a wet towel to my head and called my mother who is a nurse. I thought that I would probably have to go to hospital because I might have a concussion, so while I waited for Mother, I wrote to the teacher to cancel our date. It sounded like the most made-up story in the world. Just minutes before, we had texted back and forth, agreeing on a time and place to meet. But he reacted very well, asking if he could help me and hoping I would get well soon. Then I made myself eat breakfast because I thought I would probably have to wait for a long time in hospital. And I fed my cat, all one-handed. By now the shock had worn off a little and I noticed that my head and neck hurt and my vision was blurry. When Mother arrived, she looked at my head and said I had a large wound down the back that would require stitches. So she drove me to the hospital.

In the emergency department, a nurse and doctor examined me and did a CT scan of my brain. Thankfully, nothing was broken or damaged. Then they stitched my head back together, which hurt quite a lot, and told me I had to stay in hospital for the night to make sure I was ok. At least they didn’t shave off any hair. I got an intravenous access for painkillers, a hospital gown complete with open back and one of those cool moving beds. They put me in a room with a young woman who had been in a serious car accident abroad (as far as I could gather from her talk with her visitors) and told me I had to stay in bed and couldn’t drink anything until 11 at night. Mother had stayed with me until I got to my room and later came and brought me a few things. I sneaked out of bed with her help once to use the loo, because there was no way I was going to use a bedpan if I could help it. I also tried to comb the dried blood out of my hair. It was disgusting. And I was very hungry for a few hours before the feeling went away, but now I was dreaming about food. Long fasting is NOT helpful when you struggle with disordered eating… But I survived. They woke me a few times in the night to do tests and give me painkillers, but apart from a little pain and discomfort, I felt fine. By noon, I was home and I was glad about it. As a child, I had always wanted to spend a night in hospital, and a part of me had held on to that feeling. But now, having experienced it, it was not pleasant or exciting at all, even though I wasn’t afraid or in great pain. It was just dull and uncomfortable.

I had to rest at home and couldn’t work or exercise, but to be honest, I didn’t feel like it anyway. I tried to ‘be good’ and slept a lot and am feeling much better now. Actually no, I have a cold since yesterday. It just seems as if my body didn’t want to cooperate at the moment. I want to feel healthy and alive and full of energy! There is a race I wanted to run on Saturday, my first, that I signed up for on a whim. I’ll still do it if I don’t feel any worse, but will probably have to walk most of the time. Two weeks without running is not a good preparation.

But no, I have to be grateful. And I am! After all, I could have died, I could have ended up disabled, I could have broken bones, teeth, anything. I was very lucky and am trying to accept any setback this has caused, trying to be more positive about myself, love my hale body and working mind more even though I am not brilliant or beautiful, be more grateful for my independent adult life even though I am lonely and not rich. I should take nothing for granted. By the way, our theory is that the cold drink caused a ‘vasovagal syncope’, so now I always sit down to drink…


Anyway… In a few hours I have another date and I am extremely nervous this time. The man I’m meeting is the one who wrote to me first and with whom I have exchanged most messages. He has something to say, is passionate about things, writes very well, seems intelligent and deep and I really hope he likes me.

About annalienor

Lover of beauty, adult ballet student, deliberate creator wannabe.
This entry was posted in Family, Health, Love, Milestone, My Cat, My Flat and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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